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my *new* cool shit

from: jon benet's "mommy i'm soooo dead " a tribute

is it illegal to get paid for amazon reviews

in memory 1997-2005

the new band lineup / cd available on the internet:


too much time on my hands and then too much hands on my time so

***where did mr chez puff go on vacation??*** ***del-mar-va***

mr. chez puff chez puff report from tha front

hey mister stock man!  come see my band! don't jump out of that window!  you can lie to your boss!  you can snort coke! aw.... he jumped. but the real viddie is that wack dow brings cash flow no-no's to every respectable level of society.  take, for instance, if you was to lend your homeboy a machine gun, and you tell him not to lend it to anybody else and try to sell it, and then he goes and lends it, and then the 3rd mofo does a murder on someone.  you ain't gonna want that gun back!  and how's homeboy gonna get you $500 while he's dodging the fuzz? it's gonna make the same face that mr. whiteboy stock-puker is making everyday on the nytimes

- this will be of fine service for you, you bag of the scum. i am sure you will not mind that i remove your manhoods and leave them out on the dessert floor for your aunts to eat.

- yah-hah, evil spider woman! i have captured you by the short rabbits and can now deliver you violently to your gynecologist for a thorough extermination.

- greetings, large black person. let us not forget to form a team up together and go into the country to inflict the pain of our karate feets on some ass of the giant lizard person.

goto vortex of fun

7/17/02 dr. fingers (who am i?)

my secret band

i would like to quit playing guitar and learn to kill mofos. i want a band of secret spy killers with pick axes and diamond blow darts not some cream puff rock dudes drunk on arrival in ohio. if your band was smart you'd give it up (bands across usa) and kill pref. each other.

we are with the white strokes

in a recent interview with stuff magazine, courtney love stated that she would very much like her next album to sound like a garage rock record, ala the white strokes (didn't you hear the 2 hottest bands melded into one band in a recent back stage orgy on the bowery) or the phony suzuki. according to love that is "the hot sound right now". well duh. apparently she has about as much sense as the rest of the purveyors of this "garage rock" sound that is no doubt on a collison course for sonic death at the hands of tony matola and rufas w. hmmmm. i for one can't wait for the brittany spears / white strokes / hole collaboration album. recorded in the "garage" dimensio of sony's blistering assault on your pocketbook. note: the white stripes are awesome. i listen to them a lot when my led zep albums are hibernating under my bed and/or while fucking. note: hole, the mooney suzuki, and the strokes all totally blow. if you want to argue this you should probably hang yourself from a low e string and die.

chez lez puff brooklyn

midsummer ya-ya's are being harvested at an astronomical rate here at chez lezpuff, with transfer rates exceeding 3 square millimeters of rad rox an hour. after battling through hordes of lame-ass skeleton muggz, to get to the oven was mad rewarding.  ain't no colecovision on our plates, dog!  now we're throwin headz straight into the fire, and cussy's shadow is levitating. after the congregation dispersed, chad wilcox, foxy boxy, romulos, and the captain went to a meeting with madison square garden muggz to try and hook the stadium.  after receiving "yes"s from oasis and edie brickell, the suits decided on a furby convention.  and yes we are going to cover it with sludge.

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